You are him...

Lately I have been watching the show Awkward. If you are not familiar with it, this is a quick summary: A teenage girl named Jenna starts to hook up with a guy, Matty who admits he has feelings for her, and she ends up falling for him hardcore. But he she wants more and he doesn't, so she goes for the guy, Jake, to does want more and who actually cares for her. She suddenly realizes the she can't seem to get close to Jake and when he tells her he loves her she says "awesome". She finally understands that she is not ever Matty. That has happened to me but I just realized it after watching this episode. I had a thing with a guy last year ( the one I mentioned in a earlier blog) I feel for him hard core and I haven't been able to move on since. And just like Jenna he didn't want anything more...than another guy came along who liked me for me and who seemed to actually care about me and my feelings. Which no lie, was really nice. But after a couple weeks I noticed that I was thinking about "Matty" and I just could not get emotionally close to "Jake". My mind was so wrapped around "Matty", that I was leaving "Jake" hanging dry and I hated it. So I ended it with "Jake". Even to this day "Matty" is the only guy that I think about all day long and having to see him Monday-Friday does hurt but I know he will always be there for me and you never know maybe someday he will come around and see how much I care for him and how awesome we would be together.